Friday 10 June 2016

Goodbye, childhood

The last couple of months has been pretty uneventful so far, but this week changed it all. Guess what? A trip to my cousins' place! All of my cousins whom I'm close to don't live in the same city I do, so it's not often that I get to meet them. I met two of my closest sisters in Bangalore last month - they're 10 and 6 years old, respectively.

I'm 21 now and I felt like I was being at that border zone where you're unsure where you belong - here, or there? The elders got confused at times whether to treat me as an adult, since I'm technically one, or as one of the kids - since I technically belong to the next generation. I played with the kids, as kids - not as adults - and talked to the adults like I was one of them. Even the kids were sometimes confused which side of the line I belonged to - though they seemed to prefer the kid-side without much hesitation. I must admit, it was rather fun playing this dual role - I got to enjoy the best of both worlds. But there was also a truth which could not be ignored, and which probably made this week all the more a treasured memory - this was probably be the last time I got to do this.

I don't know the next time I'm going to meet them, but I'm sure it's not going to be anytime really soon. By then, I will have turned into a complete "elder", a man on the other side of the line. I won't be able to play with kids like how kids play with kids - if I do, the kids would just take me for a weird adult. No matter what I do, I shall not be able to resist being swept away by the tide of time, away and away from the familiar shore I used to call "childhood".

I'm going to miss it.